Adventures of Zuoichi
by Must-see-EVERYTHING
Summary: Meet Zuo. A harbourer of the seven deadly sins and a wanted demon by the personal orders of the monster Orochi. With his long earned vacation... let's just say it turned out wrong. "What? I'm supposed to go and help the sun goddess, who is the body of all that is good by the way, to help destroy Orochi, did you forget who I am?"
1. Chapter 1: Kill before asking questions

**A/N: First fanfic and testing! Seriously, it took me three weeks up till now just to know how to upload chapters onto fanfic. I had to get my friend, 'Starlight Constellation' to teach me how to. Thank her so much! Anyways, I hope this fanfic works out someway. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Okami. I just own the character and anything added to the story line about it. Ciao!**

"Zuo. Finally here I see." The leader of the eight heads of Orochi sneered with hate as it saw the shadowed figure of a lithe cat stepping out of the shadows.

"Zuo! Zuo is here!" The light head screeched with glee.

"Huh? Zuo is here? Where?" The lightning head asked idiotically, swinging his head to and fro, looking for his said enemy. As you know the lightning head is ignorant as it is situated directly opposite of the fire head at the back, where it doesn't know anything.

"Kill..." The dark head muttered _darkly. _Pun not intended.

"I'm looking forward to see you finally gone." Spat out the poison head, voice venomous and deadly.

"Sssss. Zuo. Dead." The water head hissed, speaking on one word sentences.

"Betrayal is not accepted in our army." The earth head said firmly, solid dissaproval in it's eyes.

"Fuuuu." The wind head made a swishy sound, but obviously looking pleased at the situations as it's other heads.

The cat, mini compared to the monster infront of it, looked unaffected and gazed at the treacherous youkai with a bored gaze. Then, it eye-smiled. Sick and mocking, hiding it's grey irises with a loud, _snick_.

"Thank you for the welcome party. I knew you guys loved me and all, but don't you think you overdid it?" The voice, undoubtly male, rutted evenly out of it's throat, voice pleasant and with fake happiness in every word.

All the eight heads recoiled distainfully, hissing and narrowing their eyes, "What barbaric words are you spewing?!" The fire head snarled.

"If I might imply Ho-kun*. These collars are awfully annoying, they itch and are constricting." Zuo addressed the fire head, using it's nickname, knowing it'll rile the serpent up. He clawed the iron collar around his neck, the chains dangling from it jingled in the movement. The chain end was held by crimson beast, flames as it's body and armour giving it shape tightly studded around it. It stood on four legs, and it's shape resembled a centaur, four legs and two arms. In it's hand it held a large katana, while the other hand it held Zuo's chains. It's head was an exact copy of the fire head's, completing the look.

The leader of the eight snakes glared at the tiny cat, and as if on cue, the guard holding Zuo's chains gave his chains a harsh yank, the spikes on the inside of the collar digging into Zuo's neck. The black cat inwardly flinched at the pain.

"You know better Zuo. That collar restrains you in that _pitiful_ form and with my shadow as your guard, you have no escape of your fate." The fire head explained patiently and easily.

"Tenka-san** is fairly weak, and having the title as the crimson helm is a bit decieving." Zuo commented. The crimson helm showed no signs that it heard that, only shifting slightly as it heard it's name. Of course, the crimson helm is just a shadow, with only hatred as it's emotion.

"San. _San?_ Of all the -kun I heard from you calling us, why call that lesser being _san?_" The poison head asked spitefully, albeit abit exasperated.

"Well, Doku-chan***, I think Tenka-san looks a whole lot cooler and bulkier than all of you." Zuo stated matter of factly.

_**"ENOUGH. Execute the traitor."**_ Whispered a very omnious voice, quiet but somehow everyone in the chamber heard it.

"Hai! Yami-sama!" Every youkai/monster in the chamber yelled, all falling to one knee to the command. The crimson helm harshly dragged, if not quickly, Zuo to the platform where he stood up infront of all the other monsters. Zuo was dumped ungraciously between the two muscled imps that had two spears that were made of ink black metal. Sign of corruption.

_**"Any last words, scum?"**_ Zuo stared, unimpressed, at the hidden evil.

"Just a word of advice. You should have killed me before asking questions." With that, the two imps raised their spears and moved to pierce Zuo's heart. Said cat easily moved slightly so the spears hit on his collar instead. The collar, under the simple pressure of two muscled imps with abnormal strength, and two sharp, and shiny, spears... cracked. And crumbled. And broke.

It was a long time before everymonster watching got over their shock. "HE ESCAPED!"

"CAPTURE HIM!"

"DON'T LET HIM GET OUT!"

"IDIOT! HE ALREADY IS OUT!"  
"SHUT UP! I'M PANICKING!"

"AHHHHH!"

Panic. Panic. Shock. Panic. Wao. In their panic stupor, they missed the escaping assailant, disappearing in a cloud of dark mist.

_**"Trash! He escaped! Search for him!"**_ At least the evil overlord is smarter than an average youkai. The big crowd finally calmed down enough to search and obey their lord's orders. Unfortunately for them. The cunning little cat is untraceable by scent, and unseeable by eye, like nothing really.

"Lesson trashes. Kill before asking." Zuo chuckled from far away, looking smugly at the demons that are desperately looking for him, but with miserable results.

***Is Romaji for fire**

****Is Romaji for fire caused by lightning**

*****Is Romaji for poison**


	2. Chapter 2: The very bad bandits

**A/N: I gotta review! Whoop! Start of the Kaiba arc by the way.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Okami. Just the characters... Anyway! The story!**

An ink black lion strutted lazily down the rugged road, made with the tracks of use over time, up and across the mountain that loomed above its body. This was an odd sight indeed. Lions don't wander far away from their own territory and no lion has ever been seen living in the mountains...yet. From a distance you see a not so ordinary lion, much less black, in ancient Nippon, walking up to a mountain. From up close, you can see the lion was muttering to itself in Japanese, eyes narrowed to a glare at anything that was in its line of vision.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Why didn't I check where I was when I escaped? Japan and its confusing landmarks..." The lion continued grumbling as he sauntered further up into the mountains.

Now the scenery changed into a blinding white. Snow appeared as it travelled up. The satisfying crunch of snow under its paws was the only noise disturbing the void blankness of the snowing mountain. There was no wind howling, or any sign of life. The place was in the quiet embrace of Mother Nature. The lion, standing out in snow with its black pelt of fur, picked up its pace as the snow level got considerably deeper.

The silence was broken by a screech of some bird of prey. Zuo immediately got suspicious. There were no birds of prey living in this environment, the weather was too harsh and no creature can survive living here. The ominous feeling got stronger as a replying screech was heard, this time from a different location. Just behind him...

"Raaaaawwwwwr!"

_What the-_ Zuo's line of thought stopped as multiple rogue looking men bursting out of the snow, like they were burrowing there for ages just to lay the trap. The snow behind him exploded as well, and several other beefy men were situated there. He now had no escape, which was what they thought.

_I don't know how they burrow under the snow like that and came out looking fine but I know for sure that they are bandits of some kind. Who ambushes people on a deserted mountain anyways? Well, excluding the fact that they live here and I just came here..._ The men truly looked fine, albeit a bit red in the face. They all wore warm furry animal skin clothes and knee high boots with thick soles, on the soles were spread out pads with criss-cross patterns made with strings. They looked ridiculous but they kept the men above the snow, giving them a huge speed and mobility advantage. Not to mention Zuo was stuck in the snow at knee-deep.

_I'm sure they don't rob random lions that just happen to be crossing their territory..._ Zuo thought, a bit reproachfully.

"Boss! It's just a random lion! We can't rob the animal!" A man in the crowd in front shouted out. _Exactly. So just let me pass and we'll be good._

The biggest man, the one who had multiple scars upon his face that was barely seen under the layers of clothes, roared back. "You idiot! Do you think that we, the great bandit spider, group can't rob this measly thing?! We'll steal its pelt and eat its flesh!"

_What a_very_good bandit group..._Zuo thought sarcastically at the man, obviously the leader, who stood at the front and an aura that screamed 'I'm the boss. Beat it wimps!'

"Boss, how about we get the new recruit to do it? He obviously needs toughening up!" A muscle man asked his leader.

The 'boss' seemed to think of it for a moment before nodding, "We need no wimps in this group. We aim to be the greatest!"

His group responded with a cheer, and then tossed a child at Zuo's feet. The little child was dressed in once expensive, now ragged clothes ripped behind recognition and splattered with mud. The kid's face was grimy, as his exposed skin, which was a lot. He looked blue and cold, small form shivering in the white snow. His hair was a rat's nest, scratched and ruffled up like he was struck by lightning.

Zuo looked a bit shocked at the child's appearance, then his eyes narrowed, _Oh they're going to get it now…_

To his surprise, the child stood up and charged at him, yelling a weak war cry and holding up a small, curved dagger, made pretty harshly. The closer the child got, the slower and weaker he ran. When the kid finally reached Zuo, he was stumbling and his eyes were half open. Zuo, deciding to quickly put the child out of his misery, raised a paw.

_*Poke*_

The child face faulted into the snow and lost consciousness. Seriously, Zuo tossed the poor soul easily, albeit gently, across his back and growled at the bandit spider group. Who were laughing at the child's misfortune.

"Ahahaha! Pathetic! Let him get mauled and eaten for dinner. That's what weaklings get!" The leader cackled, his underlings followed his laughing.

Oh he'll have fun with this…

_*Zap!*_

"AARRRGH!"

"What's the matter boss?"

The leader of the bandit group was clutching his rear, back hunched as his face was scrunched up in pain. His crones grouped around him, worried for their leader.

_*Zap, Zap, Zap!*_

"Owch!" Three men yelled in unison as they clutched their rears as well. One that had his hat off had his hair smoking and is now on fire.

"What's going on?!"

_Mwahahahaha!_ Zuo cackled evilly as he continued to zap people's butts on fire, often numbing their limbs with his electricity and setting their clothes on fire, resulting in them rolling around in the snow.

The bandits, in their moment of panic, fled, forgetting their leader and their targets. The leader, now on his own, was not so confident. He shook as he looked up from his position laying on the ground, hand instinctively grasping around for his mace. He saw that it was under a black paw, he helplessly looked up.

"P-p-please don't kill me." He stuttered as a drop of sweat rolled down his forehead. The intimidating lion glared down at him, not releasing the pressure of its paw on his weapon.

"Disgusting." To his utter bewilderment and terror, the lion spoke, deep and rutting. He didn't even have time to have his flash-back on life before his head was severed from his body, swatted off with a large paw. All he remembered was the cold ink-blue eyes that killed him with no mercy.

**A/N: Right, Zuo's zapping powers will be explained in the next chapter, look forward to it! Read and review! Your encouragements urge me on!**


	3. Chapter 3: Meeting lil' Kaiba

**A/N: Chapter 3! Why oh why haven't I got more reviews! Thank you, the only three that reviewed! And I will go on typing for your entertainment**

**Disclaimer: I cannot own Okami, because it's a game and I can't think that awesomely**

"Eeewww..." Zuo stared at his bloodied paw disgustedly. After years of killing, it still did him no good to keep cleaning his bloodied fur. Might as well drag the body somewhere out of sight, it was proper manners, after all.

Zuo took the corpse of the bandit spiders in his teeth, wrinkling his nose as the man's stench hit him. It was like elephant dung dunked in a year old laundry pile. He delicately dragged the body with him, leaving the head behind; the remaining bandits should know to mess with him. Taking care so that the little body on his back stayed on, Zuo walked up to a mountain cliff. There, he threw the man's body off without a second thought and started cleaning his paw, wiping it on the soft snow, smearing the blood on the cold ground.

"Boss?"

Zuo turned around, "Good to see you Lucy."

A minuscule spider, black with glinting red eyes, surrounded by a strong red aura, was on the ground behind Zuo.

"It's not Lucy, it's Lucifer. Now I definitely know it's you." If you could see spiders scowl, it would now be doing that. "I sensed you using my powers, so who's flesh did you fry today?"

"Just a bunch of bandits that abused a child. Their asses got scorched." Zuo said off-handedly, watching calmly as 'Lucy' skittered up and onto his nose.

"Haha! I don't understand why you care about child abuse, after all. You house me, Lucifer, one of the seven demon princes in hell, who gives you lightning powers and is representative of one of the seven mortal sins, pride." Lucy boasted, "Where's the kid?"

Zuo glanced onto his back, Lucy following his gaze, "Oo. That kid's condition doesn't look good. You should get him somewhere warm. Come on, I know a place."

Zuo followed the way Lucy pointed, stalking up to a crack in the wall too close for any space. But as he got closer, he noticed that the crack actually hid a big entrance to an underground cave. His surrounding immediately dimmed as he entered the cave, Lucy helping him a little in navigating around.

Stalagmites hung from the ceilings, occasionally rivulets of water escaping from its grasps, occasionally letting out a _drip drop_ sound. Definitely, inside the cave it was warmer.

"Over there. Then we can get the kid cleaned up." Lucy explained.

Zuo walked onto the edges of an underground water pond. With steam coming out of it. Wait. That isn't a pond...

"You knew there was a hot spring here? I'm impressed." Zuo exclaimed, lowering his nose to sniff at the water's surface.

"So... Boss. You know what to do?" Lucy asked uncertainly, glancing at the child on the boss' back and at the hot spring.

"Hmmm. I should just dump him in." Zuo considered, eyeing the hot spring as well.

"Huh? No, wait! BOSS!" Too late. Zuo easily dumped the child in the hot spring. Where the body began to sink.

"Do you think he died?" Lucy asked worriedly.

"No. Otherwise he would've floated up by now." True to his words. The body hadn't come up yet. Where it disappeared bubbles broke the surface, quantity increasing until finally...

"PUAHH! *Cough* *Wheeze* *Gasp* *Cough*" The boy's head broke the surace, coughing violently and splashing around, his limbs flailing.

"He can't swim can he?" Lucy asked the rhetorical question.

"He can't swim." Zuo deadpanned. He moved into the hot spring to drag the boy to the water's edge. After several moments of silence, the boy's eyes opened, black, Zuo registered the colour and looked at him in confusion. Then it turned into recognition and fear.

"So, kiddo, what's your name?" Zuo asked, trying to be subtle. Lucy was staying quite for the kid's sanity.

The boy's eyes widened. "Y-y-you can talk!"

"Yes I can and yes, you are insane now. And no, you aren't in a dream." Zuo said monotoniously, "Now, are you going to keep me waiting all day or just tell me your name?"

The boy gulped, "K-Kaiba. My name is Kaiba."

"Well, Kaiba, where's your home?" Zuo asked, lying down and tapping one of his claws on the cave floor.

Kaiba's eyes narrowed, he turned away with a huff, "You aren't bringing me back home. I don't want to go back."

_A kid's a kid._ Zuo thought, wrapping his tail around the boy's waist and yanking his high in the air, with a short scream on the boy's part, and held him there. Zuo watched calmly lying down, at the struggling boy held in the air.

"What are you trying to do?! Unhand me you vile monster!"

"Oh, so lil' Kaiba knows some vocabulary huh? And for correction, I'm a lion, not a 'vile monster' as you put it. And I'm going to bring you forcefully home, whether you like it or not."

"You can't do that! My... my parents hate me and kicked me out! Yeah! They did that!" He yelled, trying to lie and obviously came out with a lame one.

"Mm hmm, that doesn't bother me one bit. If they kicked you out, I'll have a little talk with them for being such asses while you live happily ever after and I'll go my way." With a tone of finality, Zuo left the cave with Kaiba still in his tail's grasp in the air.

"Let. Me. GO!" Kaiba yelled, struggling furiously against the furry limb that was curled firmly around his waist. Zuo easily ignored him, instead humming a song in his head and strolling down the mountain.

It was half-way down the mountain before Kaiba stopped struggling, instead adopting a bored expression and hanging limply in the air.

"Now isn't that so bad? So tell me, where is your home?" Zuo asked, bringing the child next to his head via tail.

"Why should I tell you?" Cue a violent shake of the tail and turning him upside down, "Fine, fine I get it! It's a few day's travel from here to the West!"

"Good." Turning Kaiba back upright, Zuo asked another question, "Where's West?"

That question was however directed at Lucy, who pointed a limb ahead, "You are heading West, Boss."

"Who was that?" Kaiba asked, curiously looking around.

"Yo! That was me!"

"Oh... hello."

"You're not scared of me?"

"Compared to kitty here, you not that scary."

"Oh shucks." Lucy fell into gloom, sulking back on Zuo's snout.

"Kitty? I'm a lion, idiot. Kittys are somehow close to our species." Zuo explained, miffed at the sudden nickname.

And so the arguments lasting several days begin.

**A/N: Well that's the end of that. How's Kaiba? I personally think he's quite cute. Well, I try to make him that way.**

**Read and review!**


	4. Chapter 4: Meeting the blue genie

**A/N: Such long time since I updated! Well, seems like a long time anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I gotta say, this is the worst a day can ever get.**

"This is it." Zuo stopped when Kaiba informed him. Several hours now, Kaiba stopped acting like a frantic runaway and Zuo finally set the kid down on the ground. The first few times, the kid attempted to escape, only to find out that his efforts were wasted, he had eight eyes trained on him, courteousy of Lucy, while Zuo trudged up ahead. Now Kaiba was trailing behind Zuo.

A Japanese built stone garden bloomed in front of the gargantuan mansion that stood in front of them. Zuo and Lucy's jaws dropped to the ground.

"K-Kid, you never told me that _you were freaking RICH!_" Zuo stuttered, in awe at the message that the house _shined_. It was like this 'People-who-live-here-are-freaking-rich-so-back-off-dude'. Lucy was a bit intimidated.

"You never asked. Now are you going to stand there gawking like idiots or should we go in?" Kaiba asked in a deadpan voice.

"R-Right. Boss, we won't get attacked right?" Lucy asked, the effects of the 'rich' not worn off yet.

"Pish. Why would they treat us badly? We rescued their son, so we should get rewarded!" Zuo smacked his jaws at the thought of money.

Zuo strutted up to the front door, "Just watch me." He told Kaiba and Lucy on his nose.

Zuo loudly knocked on the front door, after a few moments someone opened the door.

"Excuse me, but we have your so-"

"DEMON! A DEMON HAS CAPTURED MASTER KAIBA!"

"Now you get why I asked you that question?" Lucy groaned, while Zuo was repeatedly whacked by a broomstick by the servant that answered the door.

"Ow, Ow, OW! Watch the head!" Zuo yelled, trying to out-run the servant to no avail. "Right, time to get out of here. Kid, good luck. You might never see me again."

With that short farewell, Zuo ran, with Lucy grabbing onto his fur because of his speed. The servant finally stopped chasing the 'Demon' when Zuo was out of site.

"Master Kaiba! You were gone for so long that we thought you ran away! But it was that vile demon which kidnapped you! This is great news!" The servant explained, quickly ushering a blank faced Kaiba into the mansion.

"Boss?"

"Hm?"

"You're worried about the kid aren't you?"

"Whoever said that?"

"Stop lying boss, you know I see through those. We could check up on him if you want?"

"'Kay." Zuo went like an obedient child, in his case, lion.

"We're here."

"Soooo...boss. How do we infiltrate the mansion of riches?"

"Ummm. Infiltrate it?"

"Right! That's a great idea!"

Zuo jumped onto the mansion roof after climbing up the floors, he listened down below for any sounds. None were heard near his location. He then smashed a paw sized hole in the roof.

"Boss, you know you could've just used the window?"

"Yeah... but it's cooler this way."

"...Agreed."

He smashed multiple fist sized holes until the roof caved in from the lack of support.

"You think anybody heard that?"

"You're not very good at infiltrating."

"Hey! I never went this tactic before! I just smashed and blundered through everything!"

"Sure, boss. Whatever you say."

*Mumblemumblemumble*

"SHHH! I hear someone!"

"Should we eavesdrop on them boss?"

"Duh, we're infiltrating this place, we've got to do it ninja-like!"

"How are you going to stick on the ceiling then?"

"Um..."

"That's a great idea boss! I'll do it, I'm a spider after all, while you sit here and guard me!"#

"Uh-huh. Get going Lucy."

Lucy quickly skittered across the ceiling. After several moments, he came back.

"Report, agent."

"Yes, short or long version sir?"

"Short. Can't be bothered with the long one anyway."

"Target Kaiba is arguing with his parents, saying he doesn't care sh*t of what happens to the family and he won't take over. In other words..."

"He's rebelling." Zuo finished off for him.

"Exactly. Though they aren't the exact words though, you get my idea."

"What do we do now?"

"You didn't plan this out did you?"

"Ah, f*ck it. I don't care about his affairs anyway."

"..."

"What?"

"Boss...you big softie."

"Shut up!" Zuo was flushing, although his black fur didn't show it.

"So how are we going to solve his problem?"

"Well, I can't help when I'm a _lion_. They'll just chase me out again."

"Any ideas?"

"No."

"Oh come on! It's not like there's a magical genie lamp that will be just beside you that'll grant you wishes!"

"Hmmmm..."

"Hey boss, what you looking at?"

Zuo was curiously examining a lamp, those Aladdin ones, that was upside-down on his tail.

"Okay, that does look like a magical lamp but it doesn't mean it is a-" Lucy was cut off when Zuo rubbed the lamp.

"I'M FREE!"

The two animals jumped, a booming voice resounding throught their ears.

"Who's that?" Lucy asked, fearful.

"Me."

"No, boss. Not you."

"**Me."**

"*Sigh*, BOSS.."

"That wasn't me."

"Really?"

"**Me."**

"AAAAHH!" Lucy yelled when a clay made humanoid being appeared in front of them, surrounded in a light blue aura.

"Me. Leviathan. You free me."

"Oh god, not a repeat of the water head!" Groaned Zuo, thinking back to Orochi's water head, hissing one word sentenses. The golem simply cocked it's head to the side in confusion.

"Wish?"

"Oh that is such a rip off from Disney!" Lucy bickered, ranting on about magic carpets and big blue genies.

"Oh, um..." Zuo thought, "I want to have a human form!"

"BOSS! That's one wish of a life time!"

"Wish, human?"

"Yeah."

"Humph." The golem huffed, before raising a humanoid clay arm and touching Zuo on the forehead. Zuo immediately felt an annoying itch developing.

"It itches! Did you give me fleas instead? I'll have you know that I don't like fleas!" He yelled, scratching himself.

"Um. Boss..." Lucy stared at him, now on the floor.

"What?" Then Zuo looked at his paws. "Oh."

His paws were no longer 'paws'. They were now pads of raw flesh with long fingers attached. Zuo felt his face. No hair. He patted his ears, now on the side of his head. He was human.

"Okay, now I need clothes." Zuo looked down at him naked body, temperature dropping from the loss of fur.

"Clothes." Leviathan summoned a simple black kimono, and stood still as Zuo slipped it on sat down. Then Zuo stood up.

He fell down.

"Oof. Anybody know how to walk? I mean, on _two_ feet." Lucy deadpanned while Leviathan stood still.

"Gosh, help me Levi! You walk on two legs, I think. So you got to help me!" Zuo whined, holding his two hands out to Leviathan.

"Levi?" Leviathan asked, head tilted to the side.

"Yes, Levi. Now help me up please?"

Newly named 'Levi' stomped over and hoisted Zuo up.

"Balance."

"Right, I see. Let me have a go-oof!"

Lucy smacked his head, "I think it'll take quite a long time for boss to learn to walk with two feet."

**A/N: I hath doneth it! Look forward to chapter 5! ;p**


	5. Chapter 5: Rescue and lecture

**This is a disclaimer for Okami**

*Knock knock*

The front door opened and a servant peered out through a crack, "Hello sir?"

Zuo/ A mysterious human smiled, "Hi, I was wondering if Kaiba is home, I bought him home but was attacked by an demon, and had to flee. I'm checking up on him."

"Oh kind sir! I am very sorry but young master hasn't come out of his room in quite a while now."

"Not bothered. May I see young master Kaiba?"

"Oh please. It is the least we can do to the saviour who bought young master home."

_Oh that servant is overdoing it._ Zuo inwardly eye-rolled as he stepped into the entrance, Lucy was successfully hidden up his sleeve. The servant dutifully lead him to the brat's room, bowing and walking away after he bought Zuo in front of a grand sliding door, Japanese style.

"OI! Kid, you in there?" Zuo yelled, sliding open the door without permission.

_... oh great that kid's missing._ Zuo thought after he saw the rummaged room, knocked over furniture and missing body. Then he saw a note attached to the wall.

"Come to the bandit mountain if you want your heir. We demand one million yen for the boy." Zuo read, Lucy scurrying up to his hand to read the note as well.

"Oh great. The kid's got a talent for getting into trouble doesn't he?" Lucy muttered, tossing up two of his legs in exasperation.

"Yeah, should we tell the household or just rescue him for the night?" Zuo asked, knowing it was a rhetorical question in his head.

"Which one do you think's more awesome?"

"Riiiiight." Zuo drawled, tossing the note somewhere and setting up the furniture to make it look okay again. Then he snuck out of the house, and had Lucy change the ransom note into a 'Hey mom and pops, I'm going out for a bit, so don't look for me ya?' note.

"Where's the whatever mountain?" Zuo asked his companion, Lucy.

"Where you passed the bandit group." Lucy pointed out,

"What bandit group?"

"...*Sigh* The mountain where you found the brat."

"...Oh."

"AAAAAHHHH! It's the stupid lion that ate boss!" A stupid voice shrieked.

Zuo winced as the noise rang through his ears, "Ouch that man can _yell._" He whispered to Lucy.

"Focus, boss." Lucy reprimanded, keeping a close eye on the bandit group that was snatching up weapons to hunt Zuo with, "We're here for the kid."

With Zuo changed back into his lion form, it was much easier to travel with four feet instead of one and easier to see in the dusk.

"How do you think I want to get rid of them?" Zuo asked Lucy, bored.

"Don't get me caught up in your sadistic ideas, boss." Lucy yawned, not fully interested.

"Please! Get us out of here!"

"We'll give you money!"

_Mwahaha!_ Zuo mentally laughed as he head butted the last of the bandits into the abnormally large and deep hole he made in the snow. Lucy watching from the sidelines.

"Wait, don't leave us here!"

"We'll give the kid back!"

"Stupid! He's got the kid!"

"OH YEAH!"

"WOAH! INCOMING!"

"BLRRR-" The sound was cut as they were buried in snow. Zuo happily kicking snow, snowballs of the size of boulders, icicles and rocks in the hole to bury them..._alive!_

Oh the horror. Maybe they'll find a way out.

Not likely.

Rest in peace.

"Ah~ That was refreshing!" Zuo sighed in relief, rolling his two front shoulders and shifting the struggling brat on his back.

"Shut up! Why did you rescue me! I would've been fine!" Kaiba yelled, annoyed.

"Listen up, I heard your problems from Lucy the ninja, so I give you these advice. Deal with it, become the leader. Don't bother with all the paperwork or stress. _You are the boss._ People must listen to you. Get someone else to do it for you. Now get over your wimpy self and take responsibility."

Zuo's words struck sense in the frustrated youth's heart.

"...'Kay... and I don't need advice from you!"

"You're a wimp~ You're a wimp~ You admitted it~" Zuo chanted childishly, skipping on his paws while Kaiba yelled in rejection.

Kaiba's outraged cry echoed throughout the mountain.

"I seriously need some sleep. I mean. _How_ can anything stay awake after _three freaking _continuous days of travelling?" Zuo complained loudly, not noticing that nobody was listening at all.

"When we get you back Kaiba, I'll consider silently assassinating your stupid parents."

"Yeah, yeah." Kaiba absent-mindedly muttered.

There were currently surrounded by trees, the night sky and some random owl hooting eerily. A crescent moon was smiling on the painted canvas, and twigs snapped under Zuo's weight.

"It would actually be entertaining if we got attacked..." Zuo wondered out loud.

"Boss, don't jinx it." Lucy warned.

"_Rrrrrarrgh..._" A hand, well, mostly made of bones, with bits of mould flesh clinging onto it, burst out of the fresh dirt. Zuo stared at it for a moment, before walking over and pushing the hand back into the ground.

"_Don't underestimate me, stupid kitty!_" A mad looking zombie burst out of the ground, drilling through the air with vigour.

"A-A-A" Zuo stuttered, "An old man with severe injuries."

"That's obviously a zombie you idiot!" Roared Lucy and Kaiba at the same time.

"_Show them to fear the zombies!_" Screamed, the zombie, several other zombies bursting out of the ground with war cries and a strange yells of *Ahem* "Ayeeyeeyeeyeeyeeyeeyeeee!"

"Are they supposed to be that energetic?" Questioned Lucy, while Zuo turned and fled. The hord of zombies followed, running just as quick as Zuo.

After several moments, Kaiba noticed that they weren't chased anymore, "Where are they?"

The trio looked back to see a bunch of tired out zombies, some lying and panting on the ground with complaints of,

"Ah, my bones."

"Should knew I wasn't as good as when I was younger."

"Damn living things, why do they have to run so fast?!"

"Umm..." Lucy sweatdropped, weirded out.

"At least they aren't chasing us anymore." Zuo reasoned turning to look at another man. "An old man with severe injuries."

"IT'S A ZOMBIE!" Lucy and Kaiba roared.

"Wrong, I _am_ an old man with severe injuries."

"OI!"

"Who are you?"

"A passerby that ran from a bunch of zombies and was nearly eaten." The old man said, as easily as if stating the grass was green.

"Right, good night." Zuo said back before going on.

"Waitwaitwait! Aren't you going to ask him some more things?!" Asked Kaiba.

"No. Why should I?" Zuo rolled his eyes before seeing the Kaiba mansion thingymabob. "We're here! Remember to eat healthy, train daily and use the toilet! Goodbye!"

Then he dumped the little boy on the front steps and left.

Not really.

Not _before_ saying, "Oh! And solve your stupid, _I don't wanna be rich and powerful and order people around~_ I WOULD KILL FOR THAT CHANCE! See ya!"

"Wait! You're just going to leave me here?!"

"YEAH!"

**A/N: How did you like my reference? I know I'll probably get flames later but hey, it's good and you know it!**


End file.
